bummer

i've just typed up a long entry - just random thoughts from this past week - and when i hit publish post, something didn't go right and publishing failed. so i lost everything. what a bummer!

free fall

"no matter how hard you fight it, you fall. and it's scary as hell. except there's an upside to free-falling. it's the chance you give your friends to catch you."

-- meredith grey (grey's anatomy s02e03)

responsibility

…it's almost two hours into the workday and I find myself simply staring at the monitor, trying to figure out how I can get myself started at work. Heck, I have to get my brain to start functioning first!

It's been as such the past week. After all the "adrenaline rush" from August's product launch, September's sales launch, and last week's catch up on long overdue promo materials, I now find myself loafing. I now lack any sense of urgency - no matter how much there is still backlog work screaming for my immediate attention.

If this was a circuit party… not that I've been in one… although I would really want to attend one… it's just that I don't have the confidence *more like, the body* to be in the midst of a sea of sexy, well-toned men. Oh, if I may add, mostly shirtless… but I'm digressing…

As I was saying, if this was a circuit, this would be the "recovery" party - less thubthumping music and more of a chillout vibe...

But the problem is that I'm handling marketing for two flagship products, and as "manager", the buck now stops with me. I now command a big chunk of responsibility, and no one will be there to "rescue" me should shit hit the fan (as my direct superior and our big boss would usually say).

I'm now mostly on my own. Case in point: over the past month or so, I've had less "contact" with my direct superior. Whereas before he would usually drop by my cube to follow-up on stuff and check how things are going, he now checks with me only when someone complains (about the lack or late delivery of sales materials). Maybe, he's confident that I'm 100% on the case with our marketing plan (patay!). Or maybe he is letting me get used to taking responsibility.

In any case, this is what I "wanted". I wanted to earn more so I had to rise up the ranks. Ginusto ko 'to, so paninindigan ko na lang - for now, that is.