life does have a lot of what if's. let's face it - we all have them. some will remain unanswered forever. while we do find answer for others.
i had a "what-if moment" recently. don't know what triggered it. it just hit me out of nowhere. curiosity? frustration? optimism?
and since it already hit me, why not push it further - and blog it?! so here are my what-if's:
what if i had more confidence ...
... how much of a social butterfly/party animal will i be?
... how easy will it be for me to make friends and warm up to people?
... will i remain distant, quiet (relatively) and quite guarded even among friends?
... will i "play around"?
what if i were a lean fit hunk ...
... how active will my sex life be?
... what would it be like to do sexy, hunky "trophy" partners?
... would i experience as much "rejection" as i have had in the past?
... will i gain more confidence? will i be very snobbish and conceited?
... will i get offers to be a model or a tv personality?
what if i had siblings ...
... what kind of brother will i be?
... will i be able to deal with other people and handle relationships better?
... will i value responsibility, or will i be care-free?
... will i be the favorite? will i be the black sheep? will i be trouble-maker?
what if we didn't have financial difficulties when i was younger ...
... will i still be prudent and practical financially?
... will i take more risks when it comes to handling my savings?
... how much MORE of a shopper and spender will i be?
.... would i have pursued my dream of being a tv personality - glamorous but not financially rewarding and/or stable unless you become a star?
... would i have had a barkada with an active gimmick life? or will i have remained a sheltered goody-two-shoes that just shuttles between school and home up until 3rd year college, avoiding gimmicks because of expenses, lack of transpo and an overprotective mom
what if i were straight ...
... i don't know, i don't wanna know, i'm happy - and gay!
what if
home sweet home?
the past 5 days since i flew home from hk has been bittersweet.
it's great being in touch again with friends, witnessing my dear cousin get married to a really good spanish guy, seeing old friends and classmates from high school and college.
while i'm having a nice time here, there's also a big part of me that misses life in hk. i guess being away from home for almost a year has taken its toll.
within a minute from disembarking the wild-wild-west chaos of manila immediately hit me.
there are crazy lines at immigration, where two queues (which i definitely won't describe as "straight") suddenly merge into one. then there are the huge balikbayan boxes jamming the baggage carousel (two hk flights in one carousel - a baaaaad idea).
then there's the everyone-for-himself mindset when it comes to traffic (and crossing the street). and i don't even want to get into my frustration with the mrt.
but the biggest challenge for me is contending with an overly protective mom, and dealing with a "sensitive" grandmother who's staying with us temporarily while she recovers from a traffic accident. albeit just temporary, it does require some adjustment.
it doesn't help that i quite long for the same routine and the freedom of living alone in hk. you miss familiar surroundings (and things). and you miss being independent and fending for yourself.
in fact, although i was sometimes sick of the food, i kinda missed hk eateries and food court food. i got so used to doing dinner take-aways that i instinctively grabbed to-gos on my way home during my first few nights in manila.
but gripes and frustrations aside, i must say, nothing can really match christmas in the philippines. it just makes all these nuances and inconvenience worth it.
merry christmas everyone!
bad day
today is one of those days you wish would end immediately. it may just be me, but yes, i've had a bad day.
you wake up this morning stressed, knowing you only have 3 hours to do your laundry, fold last week's laundry, practice for your afternoon gig, shower, get ready and be out of the house for your afternoon gig.
you snap at your other half because he was being playful on msn in the midst of all this stress - and haven't spoken with him ever since, with multiple attempts to reach him by phone unanswered.
then you try your best to do good at your gig at the gym, but things just weren't clicking. you fumble, you were off beat, you couldn't seem to find rhythm plenty of times, and you see some more experienced members snickering as you fumble.
you attempt to make what's left of your afternoon more productive. but you're just slammed and tired. so you just head home with a heavy chest.
you hope you'll watch something really hilarious to lighten your mood - but there was none. or you wish the episodes of private practice and grey's anatomy you're watching tonight would help you cry it out - but they didn't.
i really wish tomorrow will be much much better.
soundcheck: as i am
once again, alicia keys delivers. she brings soul - lots of it - into each song in her newest project, as i am. and the songs just grow on you as you listen through the entire album.
as i am opens with a 2-minute intro track that can easily be used as score for an opening scene in a movie.
"go ahead" (track 2) follows this intro track. it's a very bouncy r&b song, with a distinct alicia keys vibe to it in my opinion.
then there's track 7 "wreckless love". a very sexy and passionate tune. love the lines that go "baby let's go have that wreckless love, that crazy love, that off the wall won't stop 'til I get enough kind of love ... that I don't really care we can have it anywhere kind of love"
"tell you something" (track 13) is a very radio-friendly song that'll just make you bounce to an easy beat.
the album closes with "sure looks good to me" (track 14). another very radio-friendly song, where alicia keys just brings lots of soul into it.
but overall, my most favorite track in this album remains to be its carrier single "no one" (track 4). alicia keys just put in lots of heart and soul into this song. she sings this track so passionately that you can really feel emotions as you listen to it.
i would strongly recommended as i am to anyone who loves great soulful r&b music. now, when will alicia keys come over for a real concert?
taking stock (pt. 2)
okay so i wasn't able to get any shares of "the baba", but that didn't stop me from venturing into the risky world of the stock market.
hey, practically everyone here is doing it. and when in rome, do as the romans do ... so in hong kong, do as the hongkees do.
so early this week, i took a gamble and bought one share-lot of some cheap property stock. my thinking is, property is hot here so sooner or later, property stocks will eventually go up.
then towards the end of the week, i bought three share-lots of a semi-public utility company. my thinking this time was, hey, i give them a bit of cash daily, why not earn back some of those right?
so how did i fare?
i lost 300 bucks. and if you consider all other charges, then my net loss is about 700 bucks or about 0.7% of total investment.
i'm getting anxious, but i'm staying optimistic that all this gamble will really pay off ... especially considering that i - very unintentionally, to my surprise - practically zeroed-out all my liquid cash to buy these stocks.
what a (big) waste
Malacañang household bills: P2.4-B tab on taxpayers money in 2006
i shouldn't be complaining since i haven't been paying taxes back home since i earn and reside in hk. but still ... and why am i still shocked?
it's dishearting to think that even just a quarter of that 2.4B can go a long way in giving better education to more children, or providing subsidized medicine for the sick, feed the hungry, or promote entrepreneurship so the poor learn to fend for themselves.
and what about the environmental impact of wasting paper, electricity, gas, etc etc etc?
someone should really teach these guys some social responsibility.
soundcheck
i'm psyching up my credit card ... it's time to head for hmv and haul a new stash of cds. a couple of interesting new releases will drop this week:
as i am - alicia keys
trust me - craig david
then there's a few good cds i'm raring to get my hands on:
carnival ride - carrie underwood
ultimate collection - whitney houston
shock value - timbaland
good girl gone bad - rihanna (yes, i still don't have this album)
still feels good - rascal flatts
geeeesh, at this rate, i'll need to upgrade my ipod real soon (i knew i made a mistake buying a 4gb nano only)
antm 9: first thoughts
as with the rest of the u.s., i have also grown tired of reality shows. i used to watch a lot of them: survivor, the apprentice, american idol, the amazing race, america's next top model.
but now, i'm down to only two, america's next top model and american idol. while i'm still an avid fan of the latter, i'm starting to lose interest with top model that i've stopped downloading it. i just wait for it to air on local tv.
so tonight was the premier for cycle 9. and to sum it up, the aspiring models all look bland.
there are a few (relative) standouts though.
ebony, which many other contestants hate, has good looks, but isn't exactly sticking.
lisa, the last one to be called out as finalist, is a deadringer for jennifer lopez.
and heather, which i'm kind of rooting for, probably because she has a concaved posture and faced insecurity issues all her life ... similar to what i have!
well, i don't know if i'll really spend time to follow the entire season religiously. but let's see. in the meantime, off to my sunday-night guilty pleasure: watching downloaded (latest) episodes of private practice and grey's anatomy.
another questionnaire
time, stolen from g:
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
ze tax bill
2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
would love to have a romantic dinner by the sea at sunset
3. Last time you puked from drinking?
never
4. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar?
i'm always conscious so i never get drunk
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
hmmm... class adviser was ma. teresa subala
6. What are you doing right now?
answering this while watching america's next top model cycle 9 on tvb pearl
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
a famous newscaster
8. How many colleges did you attend?
one - ateneo (proudly!)
9. Why did you get the shirt that you have on right now?
wanted a cheap cut-off shirt for gym. so i bought this shirt from landmark way way back in 2001, i think. brought it with me when i came over to hk.
10. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go?
the thought of boracay (or any pristine beach) comes to mind immediately ... i guess, i'm just dreaming of a relaxed, stress-free life, or at least a real vacation ...
11 . First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
it's sunday ...
12 . Last thought before going to sleep last night?
last thought before going to sleep early this morning: i hope i still get decent sleep
13. Favorite style of underwear?
bikinis (the skimpier the better) or square-cut low-rise ones
14. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
ummmmm ... pass ...
taking stock
so "the baba", the biggest competitor of the company i'm working for (a.ka. "the source"), has unveiled its ipo here in hk.
and since it's the largest e-commerce company in china, everyone just wants a piece of it ... including myself.
yes, this clueless, uninitiated guy is venturing into the risky world of the stock market.
but with great reviews surrounding the ipo (read more 1, 2, 3), why shouldn't i pass off the opportunity to - hopefully - grow some money.
besides, "the baba" seems like a very dynamic company. sort of google-like, if i may add, and very asian. it's chairman is young, warm and charismatic. he doesn't come off stiff, rigid and overly scientific.
all of these, i think, are the secrets of the baba's huge success in china - almost 70% market share compared with only 8% for "the source".
so why wouldn't a stock market newbie like me consider this a good investment?
what's news
'Desperate' Filipino joke draws fire
some say the joke was plain insensitive and a racial slur. others ask why can't pinoys take a joke. i say the joke was in bad taste.
i won't mind if we are subjected as the butt of a joke if there's a hint of truth to it - which will explain the "stereotyping" - but i really know that pinoy doctors are some of the best in the world. and to put that in question - even though it's only an innocent "joke" - is just sad.
now, while the joke was simply in bad taste, the reaction to it is just over the top - an apology on primetime, a boycott, an apology is not enough. so what do you want guys? the joke maybe uncalled for, but let's not look at ourselves too highly.
Cory Aquino a victim of ‘insensitive’ US TV joke
now for this, i don't understand why they're crying foul. yes, madame cory is not a slut slut, but c'mon guys, it's a news parody and a satire. picking on people is the spirit of satire. i haven't really seen the episode (just about to), but i'm sure it's all plain and simple political humor.
Britney: You Snooze, You Lose?
i don't exactly like her. i dread listening to all her bubble pop tunes before her career crashed - well, "sometimes" is still an exception. but what used to be a dislike has turned into sheer pity - on what she turned out to be and what she has made of her now-disastrous life. this girl needs a lot of help.
nrsw africa
coming up - nike rockstar workout africa. we're undergoing instructor training this weekend. and hopefully the program will launch by early next month.
check out the new routine:
american accent
inspired by crazy fruit pie lady:
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio. | |
| The Inland North | |
| Philadelphia | |
| The South | |
| The West | |
| The Northeast | |
| Boston | |
| North Central | |
| What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
really lost girl
poor girl. she makes melanie marquez sound sensible. and at least melanie marquez can come up with clever answers - albeit grammatically weird!
this girl is just way too LOST!
mr. hong kong 2007
tonight, i followed the telecast of mr. hong kong 2007 for the very first time in its 3-year run. out of sheer curiosity, i guess.
it was interesting. but i just don't get the process.
there were 12 contestants - some i question how they got into the competition - divided into two groups: one for 18-25 years old, then another for above 25.
they go through your usual competitions: talent, swimwear, casual wear/interviews. then the audience votes decide who gets eliminated at the end of each competition.
then they select one "winner" per group - then one wild card from all eliminated finalists. the final three do a "showcase" (martial arts this year) from which mr. hong kong will be chosen - still by audience votes.
it's a good thing the good ones end up chosen. we all know how audience voting has ruined reality shows.
the winner, benjamin yuen (photo). i must say, among the lot, he's indeed a good choice - at least in the looks department.
it may be a cultural thing, and it may be a result of to much exposure to miss universe-type of pageants.
but after watching the telecast, the production, the whole she-bang, and after living here in hk for exactly 5 years, i guess, there are just some things i still don't get.
all about food
after 2 months of laziness, i finally managed to write about my first-ever trip to singapore (and update my blog after a year).
my first trip to singapore - it's all about food food and more food.
when i tell people all i did in singapore was eat, some say it's because there's nothing else to do. but since i LOVE to eat, it's all that mattered!
i had the luxury of having a singaporean as host. my partner chris graciously showed me around and let me sample (yes, i haven't tried everything) the flavors of singapore.
i only had one clear instruction to chris: no fancy meals, just the stuff singaporeans would normally eat day-to-day, plus food that are distinctly singapore.
this is quite long. just read (and salivate) at your own pleasure.
day 1: june 14
so within an hour from landing on june 14th, there i was trying out local food at the foodcourt ran by the airport staff.
chris made me try and order something. so i got a mix of fried mee hoon (bihon), ngo hiang rolls (kikiam) and sauteed eggplant.
well, let's just say i need more coaching on what's good to eat in singapore. good thing is chris came to the rescue and got something much much better.
so here's my first meal in singapore: fishball noodle soup, chinese rojak, and the mixed food i got.
about 3 hours after, i'm once again downing another meal. this time, ayam paggang (malaysian chicken barbeque) at plaza singapura. forgot to take a photo though.
later that night, chris took me on a tour of singapore's red light district - geylang. we walked the alleys in the midst of swarms of female prostitutes (damn!) and houses-cum-brothels. it was kinda freaked out that i was really walking fast the whole time.
and what's the best way to cap a trip to the red-light district? a midnight snack consisting of a hearty serving of braised frog legs and fried oyster cake.
day 2: june 15
on my second day, we headed along tanjong katong road (don't ask me where it exactly is - i couldn't remember) to sample a good shrimp laksa, otak-otak (fish cakes), nasi lemak (rice with egg and anchovies), and calamansi juice.
let's just say, i absolutely loved the laksa.
then, we headed down to marine parade for a walk, and ended up getting some fried wonton dry noodles. (note that this was less than 2 hours after lunch!)
from marine parade, we made our way to bugis where i had a photo of my aura taken. just wanted to try it out. findings were interesting.
to sum it up, at the point when the photo was taken, i was in a state of growth, healing and renewal. which means i'm entering a period of transformation and new beginnings.
we were planning to head for the zoo and the night safari that night. we took the mrt all the way to ang mo kio, then had to change plans, so we can meet up with my friend from college, tiffy.
so we headed back downtown. met tiffy. and had a big dinner at lau pa sat consisting of barbeque stingray, hokkien shrimp rolls, fried raddish cake, fried hokkien mee, chicken satay and ice kacang for dessert.
day 3: june 16
we headed down the cbd once again on the third day to do tourist-y stuff: the ducktour. but of course, before hoping onto the boat, we grabbed a quick bite at a nearby foodcourt.
lunch consisted of nasi goreng, with chris' order of squid and kangkong on the side.
we went on a ducktour after lunch. let me say the experience was fun - and a disappointment (it was raining the whole day that day).
anyhow, after the tour, of course, we had to grab something to eat (again).
this time, dropped by kenny rogers. we just wanted the corn muffin, but ended up getting a quarter chicken and 2 side dishes - for snacks.
walked around, fed some koi fish, walked around again, then grabbed a cup of ice cream (told you this trip is all about food).
we then decided to head down south to vivo city just to check out what's this new place all about.
from down south, we headed north (talk about a hectic day) to the night safari. the trip included an mrt and a bus ride, which took over an hour - enough time to rest our tired legs.
the safari was something. seeing nocturnal animals up close was great. unfortunately i didn't know how to operate my digicam, so no photos from here (didn't see the tarsier either).
we left the zoo past 10pm already and we were starving. we didn't know where to grab a late dinner then realized that there's a 24-hour hawker center behind the ang mo kio transport hub.
so for dinner we had some more popular "local" food: grilled chicken wings, and xiao wan mian (小碗麵), which included fish balls, braised mushrooms, dry noodles and a hotpot.
day 4: june 17
after quite a busy day, we decided to just take it easy on my last full day in singapore.
we started later than usual, heading for the lavender street hawker center past noon for lunch. this time, i sampled singapore's char siu noodles, fried kway teow, fried carrot cake, and popiah (lumpia).
after lunch we headed down to orchard road to meet up with another college friend, tina, who i didn't know moved to singapore recently to be with her other half.
orchard lives up to being singapore's main tourist and shopping area. it's like causeway bay on weekends - busy and crowded. and while walking along orchard, i realized that it's just like central on a sunday - it's full of pinoys.
after practically walking a good stretch of orchard, we grabbed a nonya rice dumpling then boarded a bus to bugis for an appointment with his chinese doctor.
got a (really painful) chinese massage and cupping from the chinese doctor. he explained the pain was due to tension blockage, plus rheumatism.
from the bugis area, we headed back down to the cbd for dinner. and while i told chris i didn't want fancy meals, he insisted on a good dinner for my last night with him in singapore.
we went for a nice shanghainese dinner at the mall/hotel across the "chopsticks" memorial. of course, and what would a shanghai meal be without xiao long bao and jade sprouts?
then we capped the night with some typical singapore desserts: ice jelly and ice soursop.
day 5: june 18
it's my last day in singapore. it was the day i dreaded - not because i'm heading back to work, but because i'm leaving my chris behind.
after packing my stuff, we headed down the beach for a leisurely walk before grabbing lunch. it was a nice day, a stark contrast from the dreary weather on day 3. damn!
we walked to the marine parade hawker center, where we had mee siam (similar to palabok) and fried shrimp kway teow. yummy.
after lunch we went back to tanjong katong road to buy some rice dumplings to bring back to hk, then took a cab back home - got a plane to catch in a little over a couple of hours.
and since chris knows me so well that he just had to bring me to a restaurant at the airport terminal to have an ice cream before i finally crossed the immigration checkpoint.
needless to say, i did put on a few pounds and centimeters after that holiday! more photos here.