new year's resolution

coming up with a list of new year's resolutions has never been my thing. i've always thought it's so corny and academic.

but this year, as i moved up, as i dealt with more people, as i took care of more responsibilities, as i experienced more stress and frustration, i inevitably learned more about myself and i realized more of my shortcomings.

and with all the blessings and the goodness i've received, i feel it's but appropriate to make things much better - make myself a better person - in 2006.

i don't have a long list. there's just three things i'm hoping i can make better:

patience, patience and more patience
patience is not my virtue. most of you know that this is one of my biggest fault. i easily get frustrated, agitated and distracted. i'm very short tempered especially with people who are "high maintenance" or those i don't see eye-to-eye with.

goodbye okray, less hostile
a friend once said, "nakakatakot to be on your bad side"; and recently another one commented, "itong si mark matindi pa man din ito mamintas". and yes, pang-ookray and being a bitch is a favorite past time of mine. and i do have an acid tongue that sometimes gets really acidic to the point of causing unintentional pain to some people. sometimes even, i become hostile and really make patol and fight with people.

wonder if the awful state of my love life is a direct consequence of this? bad karma maybe (think 'my name is earl').

carefree confidence!
yesterday, a bunch of friends (i sensed) wanted to kill me for insisting on thinking of having a liposuction. they were dissuading me - adamantly. i guess, my insistence stems from the fact that i've always wanting to be "perfect". so whenever i realize i have an imperfection (usually with my looks), i don't feel good about myself. and as a consequence, i can't muster enough confidence to go out and meet people (read, potential partners).

so in 2006, i will just try my very best to work on these three things: to stretch my patience and be more understanding of people; to be less of a bitch, stop making patol, and be more nice to people; and, to be feel better about myself, find that confidence in me, and let it show.

i know it'll be an uphill battle to achieve these compeletely, but i hope i can at least take a few little steps towards the right direction.

it's been a wonderful, fruitful yet tiring 2005. endless thanks to everyone for everything. and hope 2006 will be a better year for everyone!

highlights

the other day, i was just supposed to have a simple haircut. but felt kinda playful, so i decided to get some highlights.

after a lengthy discussion with my stylist, we finally agreed to do portion highlights instead of simple streaks; and to have it in golden blonde instead of salt and pepper.

keeping your mouth shut

to say that i'm disappointed may be an understatement. i'm pissed.

word got to me that a comment i made about a colleague from another location - a comment made out of sheer frustration - actually made it to the person concerned and has distressed the person. although i feel sorry for "object of my comment", i'm not pissed about my comment getting to this colleague.

this is why i'm pissed.

in the hk office, since the atmosphere is free-wheeling and open and professional, we at times make negative comments about some colleagues. and our choice of words may not be the most polite. we are frustrated, we are stressed, so we inadvertently make awful comments.

but we don't make a big deal out of it. all's well at the end of the day. because we recognize it's all in a day's work. period.

so it pisses me off when some people can't keep their mouth shut and create a whole fuss about comments made out of frustration. add a chismis tone when "relaying" the comment, and voila! you've successfully created unhealthy office tension.

we usually bitch. i usually bitch. i won't be marky if i don't bitch. and i can really be mean when i make comments. but people who know me well just take it in stride. they just keep comments to themselves because they know i just needed to bitch. the buck stops there.

in the same way that when they make comments out of professional frustration, i just smile and keep the comments to myself. nothing goes out. i don't chismis about it.

the frustrating part about it is that we, in the hk office, always have to handle confidential stuff. senior managers openly disclose "sensitive" matters because they trust us to keep comments or strategies to ourselves or within the office. it's all in the name of professionalism.

how can you now trust people who make chismis about your comments? how can you trust them to keep sensitive information in strict confidence? i don't know. i guess, i'll always keep myself in check from this point on and choose the people i bitch to.

all i know is that i don't think i'll trust this person - ever again. once nasira ka na sa akin, sira ka na forever. and that's the bad thing about me!

cable

flying back to manila later this week means officially heading back to the dark ages.

received a "shocking" news today. my parents had our cable cut. NO MORE CABLE TV!!!
no more cnn to preoccupy me at the wee hours of the morning and bring me to sleep (yes, i put it on timer). no more etc to preoccupy me at daytime. I'M STUCK WITH STUPID, SENSELESS ABS-CBN AND GMA PROGRAMMING DURING MY THREE-WEEK STAY IN MANILA!!!

i can't imagine life without cable tv. to make things worse, our compo's busted and my parents won't even bother to have it fixed since they don't use it anyway. so there's no raido either. i'm doomed.

gotta stock up on downloads. gotta figure out a way of patching my computer to the tv. gotta figure out a way of bringing my trusty dvd player and dvds down to manila - without being harassed by customs officials. DARN!

chaos

the expected, but nonetheless feared, rioting has landed on the streets of wanchai. testing the relative inexperience of the hongkong police, throwing the entire city center into chaos, and causing widespread inconvenience. (read news reports from cnn, reuters, afp, and hk information services)

and being the pasaway that i am, i didn't cancel any of my saturday night plans in central. don't get me wrong, i was paranoid most of the afternoon about the chaos. at the gym, i closely monitored the tv coverage - while running the treadmill. but my logical mind (plus an itch to gimmick) got the best of me.

the area where the protests are is, i reckon, about 2-3 kms (maybe 5, i don't know) away from central. and it seems chaos is isolated in the area around the convention center. so i felt that i'll just be safe - as long as i don't venture anywhere near (read, within 1km) "ground zero".

so after gym, i headed to the designated meeting point with my friend. he called me and asked if we're going ahead with dinner plans. i said yes. we were supposed to meet at 730pm, he said he'll be late by 15mins. i said reservation's at 730pm so i'll head to the resto first and meet him there instead.

he calls me up at 8pm saying he'd been waiting for the cross-harbor bus to central for about half an hour already. there seems to be none. then i realized - most likely the police blocked traffic and bus routes have been canceled as a result. and i was right, news reports said that the cross-harbor tunnel, which is the major artery to and from hk island from kowloon has been shut down.

(on a separate incident, a couple of colleagues headed for causeway bay in the afternoon - totally oblivious to the risks - and got stuck there when bus services were halted. they called me up for help and i gave them directions. i got worried, not about them not being able to go home, but more about their immediate safety since the assembly point for protesters and most of the protest routes are in causeway bay.)

i asked my friend to take the subway instead since it was still operational. and to cut the long story short, he got to the resto an hour later past 830pm.

i was initially planning to stay out late. but his ordeal made me realize that the only way home for me from central after close of train services - the night bus - won't be available due to chaos in the streets. and i didn't want to get stuck in central for the night, under a 12 degree chill. so we called it a night by 1230am.

now here i am, kinda frustrated that the night didn't turn out the way i planned. (sumakit sana ang mga tyan at balls ng mga lintik na radikal na korean farmers na yan!) but at least i'm home safe.

painful reminder

sometimes, somehow, painful realities just have their way of creeping back into your consciousness ... no matter how much you've managed to keep them at bay.

para akong nabuhusan ng ubod ng lamig na tubig na may yelo

sales people

trust your instincts. never listen to sales people.

it's one of the things i learned this past month.

when i got myself a new pair of rubber shoes early last month, i initially got a size 9. fitting the shoes, i realized it was a bit tight, so i asked for a 9 1/2 instead.

when i fitted the latter pair, the length was just right. but because i have a bunion (this bone right next the big toe that sticks out), my foot felt a bit compressed. it was just right, but quite uncomfortable.

i asked for a size 10. but the sales lady told me that 9 1/2 is just right - especially because the shoes will loosen up eventually. makes sense. (plus, i did have a problem before where i initially got a pair half-size bigger, only to become looser after a few weeks' use.)

so i obliged. and i realized, it was the wrong decision. because my foot is kinda compressed, my bunion hurts terribly everytime i run the treadmill. the side of my second toe also developed blisters due to friction from the big toe's nail. it's a hard (more like painful) lesson to learn, but at least i now know i should settle for rubber shoes smaller than a size 10.

then mid last month, i was so excited to get this 3/4 coat from zara. i first tried on a medium - my usual size. it fit me just right. but i thought, i'll be wearing sweaters during winter so i might have to get a large instead.

i tried on the large, and it felt kinda big. but the medium felt just sakto that i might end up looking like a suman when i wear thick sweaters. since i was shopping alone, i checked with the sales lady if the large seemed too big on me. she said, it's just right because i'll be wearing sweaters anyway. makes sense again.

so i ended up getting the large one instead of medium. but i just felt uneasy about that purchase. i told a friend about my dilemma and asked his opinion. he recommended that i return the large coat and get the medium instead. however, when i called, they've run out of stock.

that's the problem with zara, their shipments consists of only a few pieces per item.

i didn't want to get a coat with a different design since i absolutely love the cut and style of the one i got. so i grudgingly decided to just use it since chilly weather was already setting in. and after a week's use, i really feel it's the wrong size.

i feel like swimming in this coat. i wanted to wear the coat, stay warm - and look stylish as well. but i'm friggin' swimming in this coat. i was planning to have it altered in manila, but since it's an expensive purchase, i wanted to make sure the alteration doesn't go wrong. the only way to ensure this is to have the alteration done by zara.

so i went back tonight to check if they do alterations on the width. the manager told me that they don't and they recommend not altering the width in order not to lose the form. hell thank you for telling me that! i'm not the one who encouraged me to get large instead of medium!

so now i'm stuck with a dilemma whether or not to alter the coat. deep inside i really want to but i'm also paranoid that such a nice coat will go to waste if it didn't go well.

i'm crossing my fingers it will, but if it doesn't, there's always a new style and cut waiting for me winter next year!

christmas chaos

whoever thought of country-fying christmas carols should be shot, killed and burned at the stakes. and i really mean it!

i had to endure an hour-long dinner over a horrible, tasteless cd of classic christmas carols - sung country style. it sounded more like something fit for holy week or halloween - a pasyon, maybe - rather than something that would make you feel christmas-y. it was just awful!

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on a different - and much better - note, can't wait to get hold of bo bice's debut album. saw him perform "the real thing" on leno, and i must say, he really sounded good.

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finally, hong kong's bracing for chaos. i'm bracing myself for chaos.

hong kong's hosting the wto ministerial conference next week. and wherever it's held, riots are bound to erupt.

unfortunately, since i live on the other side of the territory, and the office is right at the opposite side - at the butt-end of nowhere - i'm destined to transit via ground zero.

i've got a battle plan in place, taking a totally different - and much much longer - route home should chaos erupt or should traffic just screw up big time. hopefully, this'll take me home safe and sound at least for the next five working days.

(oh wait! the conference will end on sunday, does this mean, i might not get a last hurrah for gimmick before christmas on saturday?! - hope not)

heater

winter, it's finally here.

so while it's around 23 degrees right at this very moment, it'll be a good 12-14 degrees in my area when i wake up tomorrow morning. it's time to put on those leather jackets, woolen sweaters ... and that lovely trenchcoat i got from zara three weeks ago.

i'm bracing myself for the cold. for some weird reason, my flat usually feels like a freezer during winter - much cooler than outside even. so i got myself a heater - finally.



it's my first time to use an oil radiator heater, so i don't know how effective it is in heating up the room - at least to a comfortable level. but it's still worth a try.