no, it's not what you're thinking. but it does feel the same - alarming, distressful, uneasy.
last night, as i got to the gym, sales approached me and gave me an offer to renew my membership. and although it won't expire until november, out of curiosity, i entertained her. basically, prepay $5,888 for 3 years - that's around $160 a month. a very good offer considering that my current 2-year prepayment is at about $300 per month.
i was having second thoughts though. ayoko pang gumastos ng malaki after buying a personal training program in december and paying my taxes in january. i also have a plane ticket to buy this week. plus, after months of holding back, i already want to buy the mp3 player, digital camera, and dehumidifier. and i also want to start sending money to my parents regularly. so at the back of my mind, i felt i was bleeding money profusely. for a (super) saver like me, that is definitely not comforting!
so after telling her i needed time to think about it, she gave me another offer - same price but for 3 1/2 years. that's the best she can offer na daw. which means i just have to prepay $5,888 for 42 months, or only $140 a month!
and so i said yes.
but i don't know why i didn't exactly feel good about it afterwards. probably i'm just not ok with unplanned expenses.
then during my training, my pt told me that he is hoping i could help him again to meet his quota. which means he's asking me to buy another 25-session personal training contract. parang feeling ko pasa-pasa na ako e lalo akong binugbog. so i didn't commit and told him that i just renewed my membership about an hour earlier. he asked how much, i told him, and he commented that it was very cheap!
my trainer had this "sayang" look because he could've closed the renewal contract and added it to his quota (but i really doubt if he can give me the same offer). for his request, he was even offering to pay for it first and i pay him when we actually start that training contract around june. that's how desperate he seemed. and at the end of the session, he again said he's hoping i would say yes to his request. deep inside, it was a rollercoaster of emotions. it was mr. saver vs. mr. nice vs. mr. bothered vs. mr. confused.
all the way home and up until bedtime (actually even as of this writing), i was feeling bad and uneasy. parang feeling ko, getting that $5,888 renewal now seemed not right. but what can i do, the deal's closed, my card's been swiped and the contract's signed.
and just this morning, as i left my flat, the "lucky penny" (a gold canadian coin) of my keychain broke and dropped to the floor. masamang signos kaya ito?
the morning after
vexed with the ex
don't you just hate it when exes feel like they still "own" you and would ask you to do him a favor without even a simple pasabi?
the other day, i received an e-mail from my ex with a doc file attachment. the e-mail read like "please help me edit this report because it needs to be within 600 words, blah blah blah". ano ako empleyado mo? don't you even know courtesy? buti at nag-please naman.
it's not even worded in a way that he is asking you if you can do him a favor. talagang diretsong please edit e! and considering that, aside from a sudden short phone call he gave me 2 weeks ago to ask which is thicker substance 20 or 24, we haven't spoken for like 6 months or more. hindi man ako nagpakita sa kanya nung pasko.
when i got that email, i was pissed and dumbfounded. my first reaction was, i've got no time for you. and i was validated at the same time - that i made the right decision to break up with him i think about 3 years ago.
so will i do him a favor? unfortunately this bitch is also mr. nice, so malamang i'll still help him edit his report. but he's got to wait. there are more pressing things to attend to than some simple task a 30-year old kid couldn't even handle.
initial thoughts on ar7
as they say, better late than never. it's been a week late since amazing race 7 premiered, and a second team may have been eliminated today (if it's an elimination leg - obviously i haven't seen it yet). in any case here are a handful of my initial thoughts this season.
• lynn & alex: omigosh! they're soooooo gay!!! i sooo enjoy watching them. kaaliw!
• heidi & megan: they're so lesbo (and i know someone hoping they really are)
• brian & greg: flirtatious hunky "surf dudes" who're definitely not cute
• uchenna &... yoo-she-what?!
• meredith (& gretchen): for someone probably born in the 1950s, meredith seems to be a strange name for a guy... he must have had a traumatic childhood
• ron & kelly: dead duh and bland, and ron as a pow ain't no help... does kelly's profile look somewhat like kelly clarkson?
• rob & amber: well, they're rob and amber, what else can i say?!
and for the 5 other teams, i don't know what to say, it simply shows that i didn't and couldn't "sense" them...
home
that's where i practically spent the past two days. my tummy's gone haywire and i was "forced" to be sidelined. no, it's not lbm. just a weird case of indigestion - or dyspepsia. until now, i still feel bloated - but relatively more comfortable than the other night. gone is the urge to throw up just to relieve myself. simple burps would do *burp*.
it all started with a pork chop and chicken fillet curry rice meal on wednesday night. at 930pm, it was a late dinner so medyo nalipasan na ng gutom. the clincher was that i downed my meal too fast, and still ate although i already felt full at one point. so i felt uncomfortable, kept on burping, began having stinging abdominal pain and couldn't sleep.
i visited the doctor the next day (yesterday) and he gave me a couple of stabilizers and antacids. plus an advice not to eat too much. i know, i know, okay, i know i couldn't keep my mouth shut literally and figuratively!
thinking that it's just indigestion, i hauled myself to the office after seeing the doctor. there's urgent work to do and i can't not go to work. but while on the mtr, i suddenly felt numb, then saw bright lights, and next thing i know, i was already crouched on the floor of the train. that would have sent alarm bells ringing and anyone in his right mind would simply decide to head back home. but not this bloke! feeling like darna, i managed to proceed a couple more stations, go up a few flights of stairs, board a bus and get to the office.
but to cut the long story short i really felt weak and uncomfortable that after about 2 hours (and much prodding from my boss), i hauled myself back home. it was a classic case of the spirit was willing but the body was weak. no matter how i psyched myself na kaya ko, i just couldn't.
so now, after feasting on lugaw (with salted ground meat) for the past day-and-a-half, i'm feeling miles better. but still anxious about the entire thing. i wanted to hit the gym tomorrow night for my personal training session, but decided to cancel it just to play safe. in any case, i think i'm ready for something more solid. gosh, am i looking forward to a nice bihon guisado lunch tomorrow!
holiday
one down, 10 billion more things to finalize...
at least i've got my holiday plans sorted out - almost. today, my boss and our big boss allowed me to go "on working leave" during holy week. this simply means i'll be able to fly home, but i've got to report for work from the manila office for a few days.
it was a proposed arrangement i was hoping won't get nixed because i really wanted to see and spend some time with my dearest auntie - whom i haven't seen for about 5 years now. she'll be in manila on the 12th through the 29th. apparently, i just learned over the weekend that she was hoping we could be together when i celebrate my birthday on the 27th.
so there, now, all i have got to do is finalize those flight bookings and get a decent trip home... see y'all!